Contemporary YA author of HERE LIES BRIDGET, NEW GIRL, & ANYTHING TO HAVE YOU.
I am not a blogger, but I am a person who blogs. Or tries.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Pay for 5 drinks, Pay for 2 Pita Pockets, but GOD FORBID I Pay Attention
It is....really irritating how bad I am at not getting distracted.
Like. I don't procrastinate. I do everything right away. But while I'm doing it, everything else feels reallllly important too. Here are a couple of the things that distracted me while I wrote today.
The Nap Man.
This guy was asleep on a couch, mouth open and often muttering while loosly holding a camera that must be worth at least $1200. I took pictures of his slow descent from upright man to full-on horizontal man, but I feel like maybe we aren't supposed to post pictures of strangers like that. Bummer. Cuz lemme tell you guys, it is a beauty of a progression.
An e-mail from Outback with the subject line, 'Unlimit Your Shrimp!' I can't tell you now why exactly this was so transfixing or weird to me. But at the time, I was like, "What the hell could that mean? Who okayed that as the promo email subject line?" And then I thought maybe they were going to send it out without a subject line, but then the computer was all paranoid like they always are and was like, "You didn't enter a subject.Are you SURE you want to send without one?" And the Outback promo guy just panicked hard and went, UNLIMIT YOUR SHRIMP I DON'T KNOW!
Chef on a Bicycle.
He was in the streets. On a bike. Like some sort of 1920s photograph. In reality he was just a guy on his way to work, saving the environment from fumes. But to me, this was magical.
People Drinking Chardonnay AND Root Beer Floats
That's all. I have nothing more to say. That's just fucked up.
Learned that's a word.
The Banjo in the Kitchen.
Someone just...started playing a banjo in the kitchen. And he had a mustache. It sounds sarcastic. I mean was the world TESTING my distractability? I hope you're happy now, universe. Now that you know I am easily
Hot Barista Man.
Again. That's all. He was just beautiful.
It is so hard for me to get anything finished. You should be shocked this blog post got made. I'm going to go to sleep now. All this focused energy nearly killed me.