Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Only Time I'm Desperate and Sychofantic.... when there is a dog I have yet to win the heart of. It can iojjiijjjjjjjiikl;jk,,,,,,,,,,,l;.

^^                                             .
That was an honest to god example of what i'll let a dog do. She lay her chin down on my laptop keyboard, and it was so close to a show of affection that I had to let her do it. 

Jojo, my boyfriend's discerning and indifferent, 9 year old dog is the one I'm focusing my attention on now. Nevermind that she's known me for about 4 years, and that the past 1 of those years she has seen me about as much as she's seen Sean (her owner/my boyfriend). It doesn't matter. I'm still met with a polite tail wag at the door as she shoves past my knees to get to Sean's, where she will then wag violently, pant, and even sometimes whine happily. 

I give her treats. I pet her beyond my own desire to pet anymore. I scritch. I feed her. I play with her. But most of what i get is a bored look and maybe even a sigh. 

Any time she wants to get on the couch next to me, I nervously try to make her as comfortable as I can, telling her she's a good girl and that i'm so pleased she's come to join me. 

She's bored by me. Even though, while I try to type, she does this:

Yes, I look like a heroin addict without makeup. But i'm not. And I sacrificed my own dignity to document how she crawls on my lap and how I allow it. 

Gotta go not take her to the vet and not make her take a bath now.

Friday, June 24, 2011

I don't GET YOU.

Whooooo the f*** cares?

This is a fan, for those of you who don't know. It's a fan that has no blades and mysteriously spits air at you from a small ring on the inside. No blades. Cool. But...really? That's literally it. And how much is it? No, not $40, which would be almost too much to spend on a fan. No, it's not $100, an outrageously overpriced price. No it's nearly $500. 

It's like paying a magician $500 to do one card trick until you figure it out, and then he keeps doing it anyway. He's just in the corner of your bedroom doing something kind of cool. Sure, he might be the topic of conversation to newcomers for a little while, but he doesn't have the standing power. 

This fan. Is stupid.